DO NOT WORRY

                                                           DO NOT WORRY
Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Though it is human to get worried over sickness, failure, unemployment, debt, bills, death of loved one, separation, delay, lack, disappointment, etc. but worry does not change anything. Instead, it leads to depression where by causing more damage to your body and to your dream. If we must overcome and move on then we must take the above scripture seriously. Let us imbibe these words;

• IN EVERYTHING
• BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING (DO NOT WORRY FOR ANYTHING)
• PRAY
• BELIEVE
• GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR ALL THAT YOU PRAYED FOR.

PRAYER:
Almighty God, I thank You for accepting me and for taking worry and fear from me. I surrender my plans, my dream, my action, my reaction, my conversation, my thoughts, my feelings, my investments, my giving, my receiving, my savings, my sowing, my harvest, my relationship, my health, my job, my career, my family, my calling, ... to You in Jesus' name. Amen.

HOW DEPRESSION AFFECTS MARRIED LIFE

Waiting for Joy: How Depression Affects Married Life

Dr. David Hawkins

Director, Marriage Recovery Center

Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family? Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, will address questions from readers in his weekly column. Submit your question to TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

The couple arrived at our cottage late, having flown in from Tennessee to participate in a Marriage Intensive. I arrived the next morning to begin our work. After greeting and breaking the ice with small conversation, we began our work. As we began to talk I quickly noticed how far apart they sat.

Kathy, a thirty-five year old woman, sat stiffly in a single chair, while Jess, her burly husband, hugged the edge of a large sofa. I wondered if it had simply been a long flight and perhaps they were tired. Or had their years of conflict taken such a huge toll on their intimacy?

Our work began much the same as most Intensives—we began to talk about the process leading to their seeking depth marriage counseling. But this Intensive was a bit different, and I couldn't put my finger on it right away. Kathy seemed pensive, reluctant to share. It took her several moments to answer questions. I attributed it to their emotional distance, and possibly the awkwardness she felt in sharing with someone she didn't know well.

Finally, in the middle of our third session, Jess blurted it out.

"Are you going to talk about your depression?" he asked angrily, looking over at Kathy. "Are you going to tell him how you close up for days and don't talk to me?"

Kathy seemed to slump further into her chair, her eyes turning away from us. My mind started racing. I had never asked about depression. I hadn't considered the possible additional issues, contributing to the relational ones we had been focusing on.

I watched Kathy, her eyes hollow, her cheeks sunken, tears welling up. While Jess seemed annoyed, Kathy wanted to retreat.

"Kathy, please don't retreat," Jess implored. "I can't talk to you if you clam up, and the doctor can't help us if you won't talk to him."

"Well," she began slowly. "I don't know what to say. I haven't been happy for years. I've lost fifteen pounds," she said, pulling at her pants to illustrate the weight she had lost. I can't talk to him, so I retreat. Our kids are nearly grown and I gave up my job ten years ago to be with our kids. I'm lost."

"And I can't reach her," Jess said, obviously irritated. "She withdraws from me, her friends at church, our kids. Everyone has noticed it."

"I feel ashamed of how I've let things get," she said softly. "He tells me to look on the many blessings we have—and we have a lot. Two wonderful kids, a nice home, enough money. What's the matter with me?"

"Do you think it's possible you might be depressed, Kathy?" I asked questions to determine if she was suffering from clinical depression—persistent sadness, anxiety, guilt, irritability, loss of energy, lessened interest in sex, difficulty concentrating, sleep and appetite disturbance. She had them all.

"Kathy," I said slowly, "and Jess, you've been battling more than each other. Clinicial depression is a whole-body experience, affecting every part of your life, including your marriage. More than 17 million people suffer from depression, with nearly two-thirds not getting help for it. It is a very treatable problem. Women are almost twice as likely as men to experience depression. Have you gotten help?"

Both shook their heads slowly. "I've been living with it alone," she said. "He thinks I should snap out of it, choosing to have a good mood. But, I can't. I feel like I'm so alone."

Kathy put her head in her hands, lowered her head and began to sob. Jess reached out and touched her hand.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked.

"Years," Jess said softly. "She won't get help. She went to the doctor once, and they just gave her some samples of an antidepressant but she never went back."

"I almost hate to ask this question folks, but I'm going to. ‘What effect do you think this has had on your marriage?'"

"She's not here," Jess said sympathetically. "When anything happens in the family, she retreats. We call it ‘clamming up.' She won't share her pain with me, so I've gotten busy with other things and other people."

"And there's been no joy in your marriage?" I asked.

"Are you kidding?" Jess asked. "I've been waiting for joy for years. I am an optimist who finds joy in lots of little things. But, I can't enjoy them with her. She's in her own world."

Kathy continued to cry while Jess continued to stroke her hands. She received his touch and seemed to welcome the contact. We began to talk about her depression, the anger she suppressed about an affair he had earlier in their marriage, the disappointment she had over giving up her career to raise their children, the frustration she had about his work hours. She felt Jess didn't have time, or real interest in hearing her pain, and so she stuffed it, creating an even larger chasm between them.

"You folks have not only been battling each other, but an unseen enemy—depression," I said. Both looked surprised.

"Consider the distance you have both felt from each other," I said. "Jess, you've undoubtedly taken her distance personally." He nodded his head. "And Kathy, you've been feeling guilty and inadequate for your depression. You've pushed away from others as a way to cope." She nodded her head. "There is effective treatment for this, and I suspect it is going to make a radical difference in your marriage."

We continued to talk about finding a doctor who understood depression, the likelihood of getting on the right medication, and finding ways to infuse their marriage with joy.

Kathy looked over at Jess, who now looked attentively at his wife, tears filling his eyes. He held his arms open as she moved over to sit next to him on the couch.

"I'll help you with this, babe," he said. "I'll help you find a good doctor. I'll support you going to counseling. I'll look at my part in this mess."

"So, folks. Let me give you clear, direct counsel."

First, depression is a whole-body problem. It affects our thoughts, actions, feelings, relationships and even our faith-walk. It can literally take over and distort every aspect of our life.

Second, people don't ask to get this problem and they can't simply will it away. While treatment of depression is very effective, it often requires individual counseling, couples counseling as well as medications. Most people experience relief when they are willing to aggressively tackle the problem.

Third, depression impacts marriages. It steals joy and life. It robs not only the person suffering from it, but their mate, their children, their friends and family. This compounds the problem, creating even more distance, and more abandonment and isolation.

Fourth, depression is treatable. If you are willing to seek treatment through individual, couples and medication intervention, most recover. Communication in marriage improves, helping the individual rise out of their depression.

Finally, seeking God's help is critical. He is the ultimate source of our joy and promises to give to us life in abundance. Faith in God often leads to seeking wise counsel in these other areas of our lives. Developing a comprehensive treatment plan includes looking at the way we think, dealing effectively with the concrete problems in our lives, obtaining the support of our family as well as enriching our faith-life.

Finding joy is possible, though this may have been missing in your life for some time. Consider whether or not depression has been a secret part of your relationship struggles and if so, seek professional help.

Please share your thoughts on this topic of depression and finding joy in your marriage.

INVITATION

I BELIEVE

I BELIEVE

Romans 10:11 For the scripture says, Whoever believes on JESUS CHRIST will not be put to shame.
There is a pay cheque coming your way this day from the company "WHOEVER BELIEVES ON JESUS CHRIST. The amount you are to be paid is "YOU WILL NOT BE PUT TO SHAME" But you must claim it with your "I BELIEVE" identification card.
Dear beloved, no matter what you are going through right now if you believe on Jesus Christ, you will not be put to shame. New doors are about to be open in your life. Just keep on holding on to Him. He is right there with you. The question is not how long it will take for you to receive? But how long can you hold on? At that crucial point where the devil really wants you to let go off Jesus Christ is the very point of your receiving. Once the devil sees that you are about to receive, he will increase attack, depression will increase, frustration will increase, pains will increase, and fear will increase.
Thank God! Your pay is ready! Just believe and claim it. I see you coming out rejoicing.
PRAYER:
I believe on JESUS CHRIST. He is my LORD and my personal SAVIOR. He is alive in me therefore I will not be put to shame. His blood flows through me. By His stripes I am healed. He has given me His strength therefore I can do all things. I am not afraid because greater is He that is in me than the devil in the world. I believe I am blessed above every curse and I am delivered from every power of darkness in jesus' name. I believe on You Jesus Christ that You are with me in my going out and in my coming in. I reject fear from my life, I am what the word of God says I am in Jesus' name. Amen

ANSWER YOUR NAME

This message was preached by pastor Paul on Sunday March 21st 2010. Please, join us this Saturday 27th 4.00pm-6.00pm and on Sunday 10.30am-12.00pm for a fasting and prayer revival program, tagged: "Operation shout down the walls" Silent No More! Do enjoy this message and pass it on.

ANSWER YOUR NAME

Ruth 1:19 So they two went until they came to Bethlehem. And it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved about them, and they said, Is this Naomi?
Ruth 1:20 And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me.
Naomi's story is pathetic. It was a painful experience for a woman who left with her husband and with her two sons then returning without them. She witnessed her dear husband's death and she saw the burial of her two sons.
And for entire city to come out to witness the return of Naomi shows that this woman was a great person. She was good, loving, caring, motivating and she had large followers. But who they saw did not represent the Naomi they knew. They wanted Naomi to identify herself but she rejected her name. She rejected her sweet name and she accepted Mara (Bitter). The devil used four things to convince Naomi not to answer her precious name;
1.THE MEMORY OF HER PAST: At anytime Naomi wants to smile or laugh the devil will say "think of your past, think of how your husband died, think of how your only two children died and think of all that you have been through in life". And immediately Mara (bitter) will take over her. Tears of pain and bitterness were running down her eyes. She thought God has abandoned her or He is sleeping or He has gone on retirement. These are the lies the devil tells people that are passing through situations. The truth is that God is doing something about you right now. You have to speak to your past and put it behind you. You have to say "I move forward in Jesus Christ's name. Amen"
2. "IS THIS NAOMI?" : The devil used her present state to confront her, telling her " Are you still sweet (Naomi)? There is nothing right now left in you! You are not up to your mates! people are laughing at you! You have nothing! Hate yourself! When you look at yourself what do you see? Where are your values? Your qualities are gone!" These are the lies of the devil. The truth is that God is still with you. You are not alone. He is going through it with you. Say to the devil "I will get back again in Jesus' name. Amen".
3. FEAR: She was afraid of her future. Because of long period of intimidation she could not see anything good about her future. The devil used her age to confront her, telling her "There is nothing in the future for you. Age is not on your side to achieve anything. How can you do it? Your tomorrow is bad! Your tomorrow is going to end like your yesterday just as your today is ending like your yesterday. Your sweetness is gone! Your joy is gone! Accept defeat and accept Mara" But the devil is a liar. The truth about your future is that greater and better doors are about to be opened. Double restoration is coming your way soon. Just be patient and be obedient to God. Speak to your future to give birth to what you want.
4. SHE FORGOT HER DREAM: One of the most dangerous things in one's life is to forget his dream. Once you forget your dream then so many dreams will present themselves to you. They will get you confused so that you could not interpret any of them. The confusion is to push you away from God. You need to push back like Ruth. While Naomi was drifting away from God Ruth was holding on to Him. Ruth 4:14-15 And those that were laughing at Naomi came back because of Ruth to congratulate Naomi, saying "God has given you a person that is more than seven sons" As many that are laughing at you they will come soon to congratulate you. They will come to praise God with you if you hold on.
PRAYER:
I answer my name in the name of Jesus Christ. I am holding on to you my God, I refuse to let go off my dream. I am blessed and highly favored. I push my pasts behind and I move forward. There is hope in my future. It is not too late, I can make it. And I take back all that is mine in Jesus' name. Amen